I love you Ma

Happy Birthday Mama *lovelove*

& Happy Mother's Day, Masija.

I love you, Ma. I really do. Thanks for everything &hearts *wink wink* (:

Eats me from inside

after what we've been through and trying, well i found out we've been living in a lie.
i've had enough. more than fucking enough. *sigh

when we're in love, why does it seem that people always have something to say eh? -.-

they can say what they wanna say, no serious i dont mind anymore. not anymore. they don't see you like i do. who the heck is them to judge me anyway? i know im friggin ugly. but yeah, Allah created me this way, bersyukur kepada mu Ya Allah. :) keep talking shits and more shitty about me peeps, because hey, i dont mind lah, it's just a waste of time. keep talking and bulshitting. *winks*

why they can't just let us be happy? what the fuck is "their" problems?
*don't tell me, i have to start all over again, i don't wanna find somebody new.

"I've had the rest of you, now, I want the best of you"

Life in Pineapple Hill High

Hello journal. :) how are you doing? lol

As usual our homework is increasing day by day. what a freak. (i hate doing homeworks lah, teachers! grhh). Hmm, essays, graphs, lab reports, peka, and complicated math related equations that take up a lot of book space are part of our lives everyday. i kinda miss all the AJK shouting their lungs out saying:

"Oi korang! hantar lah buku essay!" -Farisya.

"You guys, cepatlah hantar buku math!" -Thahirah.

"Sila hantar buku karangan sebelum rehat!" -Athirah.

those words of warning are considered normal, well yeah. from the words of our class teacher, we have the most 'responsible and kind hearted' class monitor. HAHA, and cikgu lupa nak cakap Deena Saud Bawazier mulut bising (:P) hihi no offence okay? :))

As usual, life in pineapple hill high is hectic as always. but as true CBNers, we go through the pressure and stress but still look beautiful doing it. gossip, rumors and bitching around are still roaming around but i have learned balance them. ohh, i wanna put all the hate aside and just have fun. *winks*

this is my final year. im so gonna miss life in CBN later, NOT. haha, maybe. :)

Birthday boy

Happy 16th Birthday Husni Seth :)

20th April 2008, Sunday

yo husni. my so called adik angkat. remember those memories, when me and Areen intend to make you as our pet-bro. HAHAHA. lawak sial, ever-er. okay, stop crapping. anyways, have a blast okay brotha. and ohyeaahh, have a sexy shmexy birthday okay. so loonggg since i last meeting you *pfft. takecare boy. good day mann ;)

Pain of losing you

I'm no more different than you are,

i love smelling your hair. i love kissing your forehead. i love when u played with my hair. i miss your cute face while we were playing. i miss you, like hey, fucking a lot. i miss holding your hands. i miss running my fingers through your hair, you know i love playing with it. i'll always pray for you. and i'll always there for you, when you are sad or happy. i will. my life is meant to be with you. but, heck, i cant help it. the truth remains. -.-

can things just go back to normal? i miss you, and darn i fucking need you here *pftt

Lost a friendship

Sad but true,

as time goes things change, no, really. i can't cope with the changes. *pfft

i have issues with changes. sue me then. AS IF I CARE! having to adapt to the differences and how some people change in some ways is just too much for me. lost too many friends that way, its either that or we're drifting apart already.

I lost a friend today. no, my best girlfriend i must say. hmm, over something and i find it, extremely immature and irrational. no, serious, i mean it. *sigh

I used to think of her as a great person and a better friend. but my perception of her has been smashed and shattered. she disappointed me in more ways than one. watafak. how could you?

Hmmmmmm,
a way i just cannot forgive. i think. if she ever took the time to talk to me, i would understand. but, the fucking world just doesn't want it.

Changes come and go, but the effects stay long after.

Boredom strikes

1 Who is your best friend?
Dudes: Mohd Noor Danial and Wan Khairul
Dudettes: Betina's, Intan+Yaya &Izrin

2 Who do you like?
Jeremy Sumpter, for God's sake, he is sooo hot. too hot. to handle ;)

4 Who owns your house?
pa and ma.

5 Who bought you the clothes your wearing?
im wearing pyjama. thanks ma.

6 Who is at your house?
ma, pa, abg, and myself.

7 Who loves you?
family, fikri, and friends. triple F.

8 Who said hey to you today?
Ashela.

9 Who are you talking to right now?
Icky and Fatin Natasha. hee, commenting with them.

10 Who was your ex-boy/girlfriend?
Mohd Zahreen.

11 Who is your boyfriend?
fikray grhh :))

12 What are your favourite actor?
Paul Walker.

13 What are you wearing?
pyjama.

14 What do your teeth look like?
jongang i guess lol -.- HAHA. well i need bracess, hjyeaahh, cant wait :)

15 What are you doing in an hour?
waiting for fikray to come online. cett. malacca, i hate you! no, really.

16 What is your middle name?
i have no middle name, you shithead.

17 What is your deepest secret?
well if i tell you, then, there's no more "secret" lah, what a wimps.

18 What are you doing tomorrow?
oh school.

19 What is your boyfriend's middle name?
Aziz.

20 Do you love him?
yes i do *winks*

21 Descrive yourself?
ask fikri, he knows me better.

22 What are you sitting on?
very comfy chair.

23 Where are you at right now?
here.

24 Where were you at at 12 noon today?
one utama.

25 Where is your toothbrush at?
in the toilet.

26 Where do you sleep?
my bed.

27 Where do you live?
kampung baru, kuala lumpur.

28 Where were you at at 7pm yesterday?
watching 8 below :)

29 Where is your boy/girl friend?
currently, dekat seremban.

30 Where are your parents?
at home.

31 Where did you put your diary?
right besides my bed.

32 Where do you keep your socks?
closet.

33 When was your first kiss?
when i was fifteen.

34 When are you getting a job?
in 5 years time, perhaps.

35 When will you grow up?
i am.

36 When are you going to call your friends?
err, no credit -.-

37 When did you get home last night?
im not going anywhere pun last night. im so baik yesterday ;p

38 When did you were together with your boyfriend/girlfriend?
July 14th :) *wink wink*

39 When are you going to stop taking surveys?
idk and i dont really care about it.

40 When was the last time you had a fruit smoothie?
err cant recall.

41 When are you getting married?
26 years old, insyaAllah.

42 Why are you taking this?
because boredom strikes.

43 Why are you weird?
because everyone is.

44 Why are you wearing what your wearing right now?
because im at home.

45 Why dont you have friends?
i do alright *sigh

Description

Faiznur Atiqah, she knows me better :

Frezailah Atilia bt Mohd Zaini ,the youngest . my only baby sister . i'm close to her then to my brother . we share everythings together . our problems sometimes our things . yes, i can't deny . we do fight ,but we unite easily kan ? So , she's hyper n loud . cool n care about her sista so much , which was me x). always lend her money to me n always pinjam mine also . smart ,yes she is . sensitive n humble . get cry easily . flirt flirt je kerja kau ni, hish tak suka ;P. so ,to me she's the greatest sister . my both siblings , equally good la actually . olwite darling ? kakak always support you in everything ,no matter what . we're forever sisters . there's nothing can tear us apart ,no one dares . take care ,baby. i love you to bits ,forever and always . and i really care about you.

hugs n kisses, kakak. x)

Too blind to see

i thought with time, you guys will realize wtf is wrong with our friendship. friendship to us, means, hanging around together, hugging here, kissing there. and admit the fact that, we're bestfriends forever. but hey, friendship is way more than that. dont simply make promises, eg: i love you until the end of time, bestie. you're the best. you guys complete my life. dont fucking make any promises, if you guys dont really know how to keep them well. its better to keep your mouth shut. as sharing this friendship. well its clear for you four to see, i'd fight for our friendship. but how can i fight for it, if im the only one who really tried so hard to glue back the pieces of our friendship that breaks into pieces. dont be so selfish and put so much egos lah girls. every little thing i do, NEVER seems enough for you guys. for once, think about others' feelings juga lah. asyik fikir diri sendiri. apahal ni? ish.

how im missing "the old us" so much. 2007, please come back. i was such a fool, i couldnt see it, that actually, we really dont have anything yes anything in common pun. kalau ada pun, perasaan ego membuak. penting diri lebih. hah, that is so us. after all we've been through, this is the end? wooo what a great ending. i was too blind to see that we will never ever be together forever. fuck that. kill me for this, for putting so much efforts to make us, the betina's back on track. and for putting so much hopes, veryvery hopeful, that this is just a test from Allah, and maybe this is just a nightmare. but heck. the truth remains. the fact that this is the fucking end. no fairrrrrr! ;(

was it something i said that make you four turn away? to make you four just leave me cold here, without any further details about what's going on. what's really the point of this matter, till it breaks our friendship. if i could just find a way, to make it better, what will it be anyway? *sigh

Asilah, Aisyah, Syafiqah, Virginie.
People whom complete my life, well that was then,
No matter what, i love you four, endlessly.

From foes to b.gfs

Hello Journal. :) Well hey, meet them, my pretty girls. *chewahh. hihi. Nur Hafizah (right) and Nurissa Lyana (left) jumjum teka meneka. people out there, guess oh guess, how old is eza and ssa? cptcpt! 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10. *tet* tamat. haha buduh. wooo, too young okay. both of them, bloody fourteen this year. too young kan? blerghh, jeles sial -.- grhh. enough about their age and name. hah ni nak story. :) from enemies, BIGGEST ENEMIES EVER-er, i must say then hey turns out to be a very good friends. wheee, im so glad to have you both by my side. thanks for being there when needed, awwh thanks so much babes. :) mucho love, xxx

I love you both, equally much, *mwah. <3

Apple of the eye

Mohd Noor Danial
*23th April 2007, Saturday.
CBN's Carnival 2007.

Meet my bestfriend, he's effing hot. He knows all single thing about me, and i do trust him. Eventhough we quarrel a lot (well yeah sometimes) i know i need him forever. He picked me up when im down. Please don't ever hurt him, or else, i'll kill you. BFF**

Nik Intan Shahira

*14th January 2002, Monday.

SK Convent Bukit Nanas (2)

She's the one that i can trust with everything. She's the bestfriend. She owns my heart, and yes, she's my other half. She's mine forever. We talk, we laugh, we share our secrets. The person who means a lot to me, i mean, A LOTTT, yes that is so you.

Always fight, unite easily

awwwh, so sweet of him. im flattered, grhh <3456

Atilia: still sober. definitely. no, really.
Fikri: haha, ni gone terus, lol

he loves this picture. but err, i really cant find the reason why. he said, i look cute with the look on my face. watafakweh. hahaha. but anyhow, thanks buu. :)

I miss you, really

I know that as the years go by,
I'll miss you more and more,
But i have to stand here watching you,
walking out the door.

Your robe has been donned,
Your tassel turned,
You've passed all your tests,
the lessons you've learned.

I've only known you,
for one short year.
But i've grown to love you,
And now i'll shed a tear.

For as the many years go by,
I'll miss you more and more,
But i must stand here watching you,
again, walking out the door.

Just do it

Looking for an original way to tell that someone you like him/her? *ehemehem*

hah, here's some tips. (based from kakak's journal *sshhh)

• grab your crush tu hah kan, her/his hand, at the movies during a scary part. (BAHAYA NII! hahaha)
• write a personal note explaining how you feel
• drop subtle hints to see "if" he or she picks up on them
• invite your crush to a group thing, but when you get there, well its just the two of you.

:) Lucky luck, people.

Crush the crunchies

I still remember a crush of mine who broke my heart

hello journal. :) well yeah, here's the story. sit back, woo be calm, grab some pop corns ke eh eh snickers or yeah kit kat would be definitely great. yuumyyyy! hihi. *sshh* the story goes...

we were both fourteen years old tau that time, and we became friends after getting to know each other. it was like sort of le, one of those, "love at first sight" *ececeh. kind of things for both of us, and we soon began hanging out a lot lah together, studying for mid year and tests semua lah kan. then, grabbing a bite to eat, catching a movie with friends, i mean other friends pun ikut, hihi.

we discovered we had so much in common, itu ini semua agak a lebih kurang sama je semua tau -.-, and i was convinced this guy was "the guy". he was everything, yes EVERYTHING, i wanted in a boyfriend. hah! can you guys, like woohoo, imagine lah? hehehehe. he was cute, nice, veryvery sensitive, funny. its just that err dia putih sangat sial, gila not my type :s bila jalan bersama macam errr then grhh ouchh gila tahu takk. haha tapaham tapa lah en, teehee ;)

things felt so riigghhtt. that i thought my feelings were mutual. while nothing had happened to indicate we were more than friends. what a pity :/ cheii. i felt very clearly that's where we were going, so when i confessed to him how i felt one rainy day. cam after school, jumpa semua kejap. so i did confessed :s (eyy bukan terus ckp, i suka you, be mine? eeee. no no!) it was rainy day tau that evening, he didnt even respond (babi lebih kau ni HAHAHAHA) the way i'd hoped, and there, hmm i was really really crushed.

i was really dissapointed, and i felt hopeless, so cam pergi habis credit call my bestfriend ni tau. then then, my bestfriend explained that he did like me, its just that, he had just gotten out of a relationship and he didnt want to go there again. well in the same time, he told me that he still liked me a lot and wanted to continue spending time together. well hmm, i couldnt do it. i knew i'd never be able to just, "hang out" as friends, oh just friends, knowing that i felt something more yeah more than he did for me. (can you guys imagine it?)

the end, thank you.

well koraaaannggg, its normal thing kan? mcm, its a common dilemma when friends crush on other friends. kan kan? LOL.

till here,
xxx

Nothing like you and I

Isetan, Suria KLCC, 12.04.2008, 11.12pm.

*ehemehem*, so hey, meet my man. be jealous people, be very jealous LOL (;p) the name's, Abdul Aziz Fikri. big Y-E-S, he's way younger than me. so whaaaattt? do your mum feed me eh, then hah, you were sort of have a jealousy deep inside you? watafakweh. its just a matter of number kut? be matured lah. adoidoidoi. sedangkan, sedangkan, Nabi Muhammad s.aw. berkahwin dengan isterinya yang jauh lebih tua daripada dia. apa ada masalah? hah! hah! hah! terkentut kau dan kau, yee kau, di sana nun sana jauh nak jawab. hahahaha. chittt! get it clear people, again and again let me repeat this eh, its just a matter of "number". yes, i do love younger boys. and its nothing got to do with your life. kan kan? so hjyeaahh. do i make myself clear? i think so. blablabla. well the conclusion is, i love him, really do. he's mine, all mine, for now, syukur alhamdulillah. :) *winks

Happy 9th Anniversary buu. I love you sweetie, and it's for real. :) xxx

Cases of the ex

im so very the boring lah today. myspace bosan. msn tak glam aku ni, tadak siapa tegur. what a pity *uhuk uhuk*. facebook tak reti HAHA. hah apa lagi? so i was kept thinking apa lah aku nak buat ni ha bosan bai -.- oh hjyeaahhh. blogspot.com mungkin boleh membantu. pstt*, bukan rekaan semata mata okay. hihi

the last to know by sherwood (ring ring kringgg) so random lol

*psst, one message received. *jengjengjeng* ohh its from my ex boyfriend. terkejut ya amat. hah, start reading his text. hi fidz, long time since last we last contact. its been an ages since we last meet blablabla *tet* privateeee. HAHAHA. and blabla, end up, the conclusion, err he misses me a lot, like A LOT. i dont talk crap okay. he told me that. hahaha. cehh, eyy what the fish -.- *pfft

what the hell is wrong with you mannn :S so scaryyy. wohh. well why do you wanna keep in touch now? since so looonggg ago, you were the one who dumped me like shit. HAH! well sokay lah, lumrah hidup kan :)well its a shame, seriously a shame. watafakweh. you seriously need to stop trying to play me okay. im not your toy (eh comel sikit lah, doll =D *winks*) hah or your doll. you cant even fake me. ni lagi nak mainkan perasaan org. kau boleh jalan daa, selamat tinggal romeo! :D

Through thick and thin

"Once A Betina's, Always A Betina's"

well yeah, im wondering, and still wondering here infront of this so-called-minimeenimo lappy, Faiznur's property. hihihi. hah back to the topic (serious sikit ni) what happened with our tagline? oh ececeh, kununnya dahulu, berat sama dipikul ringan sama dijinjing. tapi kini apa terjadi ye? -.- *berfikir kejap. haha. idk wtf is wrong with this world, haih. currently, pretend to be OKAY. eg: oh im good ppl, life's been fucking greeeaat, zomaigod i love my life :D *what a lame.

Kawan biar sampai ke jinjang kubur

agree people? oh for those who disagree with me, mari sini maki hamun HAHA (sir vent's fave word LOL) "tak kenal maka tak cinta, bila dah kenal macam lah cilaka". thanks to Yaya. she created this quote. and yeah somehow i can see from other's profile, they also come up with this words haha maybe it is a trend kut, tiru ayat semua haram jadah haha sokay forget it :)

I love my girls, My Betina's

• Siti Nur Asilah
• Nurul Ain Syafiqah
• Tengku Aisyah Asyikin
• Virginie Laurency

we've been through thick and thin, through good and bad times together. yes. what happened with our friendship? what happened girls? dont come to me and just simply saying SORRY. im sick of the word "sorry". and then, go repeat it again. whattha blerghh -.- girls, we're big enough okay. deal with this case as mature as our age le. after all the pain, laughters, sleepover, rogol-ing each other, fussing and fighting, shopping, movies, vain+camwhoring, and etc (the list goes on..) hah, then now, you guys just wanna erase all those memories we had? pretend that we have nothing to be reminisce. HOW CRUEL IS THAT! well, all i need is explanation from you guys. cant we just confront each other? cakap apa tak puas semua. apa yang puas. LOL.

bila tangan sudah meragam keletihan, HAHAHA
to be continue HIHI sorry im so emo lah now. kang nanti habis lah (:P)

mucho love. xxx